Wedding RSVP etiquette

September 13, 2015


It’s officially a month until my wedding and I can guarantee there are other soon-to-be brides and grooms dealing with the same difficulties that my fiancé and I are dealing with. My biggest headache would have to be guest RSVPs. Guess what, RSVPs are not an option; they are mandatory!

A quick overview on why RSVPs are very important:

  1. Headcount for the venues and other suppliers
  2. Seating chart
  3. Food and beverage count

As of today, I can tell you that I am still missing at least a quarter of my RSVPs responses. I can take a guess on who will not be attending, but news flash, I am not a mind reader. Brides and grooms put many hours into planning the wedding and making sure every potential detail is covered. However, I thought the easiest part would have been the guest RSVPs. It should be easy since most RSVP envelopes are pre-stamped, with the return address listed. Can it get any easier?

You wonder:

  1. Is something wrong with the mail service?
  2. Is their address incorrect?
  3. Are potential guest making an excuse to not attend your wedding?
  4. Are your guest just procrastinators?

Now that we are past the official due date of when RSVPs are supposed to be completed, I decided to contact the guest one-by-one. Here’s the deal; just because you are in the wedding you still need to send your RSVP. Did you potentially tell us by phone, text or social media? You still need to send in your RSVP. Did you tell our parents or a family member? You still need to send an RSVP. Our wedding is a plated dinner; our caterer and wedding suppliers need that final guest count to organize and plan a great wedding. Let’s make it simple people!

Don’t get me wrong, I understand everyone is extremely busy but unless you have an amazing excuse on why you are not able to attend, an RVSP should be in the mail.

Proper etiquette for wedding RSVPS:

  • When you receive your invitation, make it a priority to return the response card within seven days…tops!
    • Check your schedule
    • Check with your plus 1 to see if they are able to attend
    • If you are unable to make the wedding, contact the bride or groom by phone to inform them
    • Complete the RSVP card
    • Put in the mail!

Weddings are about celebrating the love between two individuals and the fact you received an invitation should mean a lot! If you think about how much it cost per head for a wedding, you will understand why RSVPs are so important. And remember you still want to be friends with the bride and groom after the wedding right? Don’t cause a headache for them and do what is asked, they will return the favor for your big day!

To my brides and grooms, I understand your pain and I will make sure to spread the word for RSVPs cards to be returned in a timely manner!

Author: Julie Davis

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